Fwd: 40 things you never heard a southner say

> 40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
> 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
> 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
> 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
> 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
> 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
> 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
> 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
> 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
> 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not
> safe.
> 30. Wrasslin's fake.
> 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
> 28. We're vegetarians.
> 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
> 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of
> biscuits and gravy.
> 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
> 24. Who's Richard Petty?
> 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
> 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
> 21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
> 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
> 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
> 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
> 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
> 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
> 15. I've got it all on the C drive.
> 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
> 13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
> 12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at
> Tiffany's.
> 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
> 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat
> grams.
> 09. Checkmate.
> 08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
> 07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
> 06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we
> haven't seen.
> 05. I don't have a favorite college team.
> 04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
> 03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
> 02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
> 01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
-- -Kraig Grady
North American Embassy of Anaphoria Island
http://www.anaphoria.com
The Wandering Medicine Show
KXLU 88.9 FM WED 8-9PM PST

--- In metatuning@yahoogroups.com, kraig grady <kraiggrady@a...>

/metatuning/topicId_5720.html#5720

wrote:
>
> > 40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
> > 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
> > 38. Duct tape won't fix that.

***This is a great idea.

I think that every time somebody gets into an argument on one of the
lists, somebody else should post a *mandatory* joke...

JP