Re: [tuning] november

Beautiful, not bad, but too much words to me, and slightly out of
rhythm :-)

What about this one:

Ibukiyama
with whitecap whispers in west
"Woe, winter walks in"

Daniel Forró

On 16 Nov 2008, at 12:08 PM, daniel_anthony_stearns wrote:

> I've always been a great magnet for the bleary skies, bare trees and
> hard to pinpoint autumnal, metaphysical yearnings of this time of
> year here in this part of the world, New England.
> And while i often try to stick some music at that thing, every once
> and a while i try to express something of it in words.
> with that in mind, here's a poem-in-progress i've been trying to
> shape out of these things lately--btw, the music of the same title is
> also now up at my NNM profile page, should anyone be interested:
>
> http://netnewmusic.ning.com/profile/danstearns
>
> Silvered Alar Rise!
>
> In the nameless motions of air
> By the riven troughs of an angel's stare
> Wild things wait crouched in the valleys
>
> In the shade of a birch
> In the web of time
> Flapping like a flag
> On a lateral line
>
> I saw a man
> A lamped calligrapher
> Lit by the moon
>
> The man was still
> His eyeballs swiveled
> I nursed my nerve
>
> Atlantis howled
> The Great Stars ran amok
> A sounding loomed
> The tide of the world broke over
>
>
>

thanks for the comments and the haiku daniel.
With the poem I posted I was very much aware of the opening rhythm
and the subsequent lack thereof...and at first it felt awkward given
my expectations and whatnot, but after a bit I was think that it
worked especially via-a-vis what I hoped to "say".
Lyric meter is a funny thing given a mentally fixed context where you
expect such and such... and I can't begin to think how many talented
lyricist sometimes fall into a hole of their own expectations in this
regard------->being Czech as you are, there I'd cite the famous folk
musician Nohavica (or perhaps even his big influence, Karel Kryl)
whom I quite like, nohavica that is (liked rok Dabla too, but thought
Karel Plihal, and especially Killing Joke's Jaz Coleman, kind of
stole the show), but who writes so many songs that occasionally
the "poetry" of it suffers from its own expectations to rhyme and
meter that it can actually sometimes read better given a direct (and
perhaps even broken) English translation!!! These are the things I'm
interested in.....these odd moments where things obviously work, if
perhaps shockingly, less formally so.
anyway, "winter walks in" will hopefully be a companion piece to "day
walks in" one day/:
Take care, daniel stearns

--- In tuning@yahoogroups.com, Daniel Forro <dan.for@...> wrote:
>
> Beautiful, not bad, but too much words to me, and slightly out of
> rhythm :-)
>
> What about this one:
>
> Ibukiyama
> with whitecap whispers in west
> "Woe, winter walks in"
>
> Daniel Forró
>
> On 16 Nov 2008, at 12:08 PM, daniel_anthony_stearns wrote:
>
> > I've always been a great magnet for the bleary skies, bare trees
and
> > hard to pinpoint autumnal, metaphysical yearnings of this time of
> > year here in this part of the world, New England.
> > And while i often try to stick some music at that thing, every
once
> > and a while i try to express something of it in words.
> > with that in mind, here's a poem-in-progress i've been trying to
> > shape out of these things lately--btw, the music of the same
title is
> > also now up at my NNM profile page, should anyone be interested:
> >
> > http://netnewmusic.ning.com/profile/danstearns
> >
> > Silvered Alar Rise!
> >
> > In the nameless motions of air
> > By the riven troughs of an angel's stare
> > Wild things wait crouched in the valleys
> >
> > In the shade of a birch
> > In the web of time
> > Flapping like a flag
> > On a lateral line
> >
> > I saw a man
> > A lamped calligrapher
> > Lit by the moon
> >
> > The man was still
> > His eyeballs swiveled
> > I nursed my nerve
> >
> > Atlantis howled
> > The Great Stars ran amok
> > A sounding loomed
> > The tide of the world broke over
> >
> >
> >
>

Hi, Dan,

I was kidding about rhythm, who said there must be one pattern in
whole poem? Of course not necessary, those times are away. I admire
your imagination, and freedom of your verses and metaphors... Yeah,
who can do it, does it like you, and we other wannabe poets must rely
on fixed forms, and not create a real poems, just try mechanical toys
like haiku where mastership is so near to pure manneurism and
jogglery... Which has also its own problems, as it's difficult if not
impossible in other languages than Japanese with its syllabic
structure. That's the reason I usually write it in Japanese, and
afterwards do just translations into English and Czech trying to keep
sense and rhythm.
Real haiku has very strict rules, not only 5-7-5, but also limited
themes (usually only seasons, nature beauty...), and should have some
surprising last line... Pretty difficult, it's like a mathematical
formula, or chess game, or Bach's harmonic counterpoint where
horizontal and vertical lines are synchronized.

So I doubt I could win one year the Emperor's competition, will be
invited to the Palace and meet Him... But it's interesting that
effort to fill the exact form with some content, all this on a very
small space. I feel a lot common with classical music forms, they
were also fixed and therefore limited (but not sooooo much like haiku
which must use words of course, music is more free). The older I am,
the more I like this zen-like minimalistic approach, so I invented
few years ago a compositional technique using only few note cells as
a base of composition (what a coincidence with haiku!), and also
returned to my eternal love - writing chromatic fugues which often
combine 12tone atonal melodic technique with tonal harmony.

And my New Year ringing our temple's bell is year by year better,
too... There's no training possible, so I can learn only from one
beat a year. Maybe after another 50 beats I can say: Hm, but this
year the sound was really good... This I call pure zen. Maximal
concentration in the shortest time. Best content in fixed form of
some energy and vector... And feeling like whole cosmos waits that
sound. Every year I'm looking forward to this moment, and believe me,
there's not much Japanese friends who understand fully what I'm
talking about.

Daniel Forro

On 19 Nov 2008, at 12:42 AM, daniel_anthony_stearns wrote:

> thanks for the comments and the haiku daniel.
> With the poem I posted I was very much aware of the opening rhythm
> and the subsequent lack thereof...and at first it felt awkward given
> my expectations and whatnot, but after a bit I was think that it
> worked especially via-a-vis what I hoped to "say".
> Lyric meter is a funny thing given a mentally fixed context where you
> expect such and such... and I can't begin to think how many talented
> lyricist sometimes fall into a hole of their own expectations in this
> regard------->being Czech as you are, there I'd cite the famous folk
> musician Nohavica (or perhaps even his big influence, Karel Kryl)
> whom I quite like, nohavica that is (liked rok Dabla too, but thought
> Karel Plihal, and especially Killing Joke's Jaz Coleman, kind of
> stole the show), but who writes so many songs that occasionally
> the "poetry" of it suffers from its own expectations to rhyme and
> meter that it can actually sometimes read better given a direct (and
> perhaps even broken) English translation!!! These are the things I'm
> interested in.....these odd moments where things obviously work, if
> perhaps shockingly, less formally so.
> anyway, "winter walks in" will hopefully be a companion piece to "day
> walks in" one day/:
> Take care, daniel stearns
>
> --- In tuning@yahoogroups.com, Daniel Forro <dan.for@...> wrote:
> >
> > Beautiful, not bad, but too much words to me, and slightly out of
> > rhythm :-)
> >
> > What about this one:
> >
> > Ibukiyama
> > with whitecap whispers in west
> > "Woe, winter walks in"
> >
> > Daniel Forró
> >
> > On 16 Nov 2008, at 12:08 PM, daniel_anthony_stearns wrote:
> >
> > > I've always been a great magnet for the bleary skies, bare trees
> and
> > > hard to pinpoint autumnal, metaphysical yearnings of this time of
> > > year here in this part of the world, New England.
> > > And while i often try to stick some music at that thing, every
> once
> > > and a while i try to express something of it in words.
> > > with that in mind, here's a poem-in-progress i've been trying to
> > > shape out of these things lately--btw, the music of the same
> title is
> > > also now up at my NNM profile page, should anyone be interested:
> > >
> > > http://netnewmusic.ning.com/profile/danstearns
> > >
> > > Silvered Alar Rise!
> > >
> > > In the nameless motions of air
> > > By the riven troughs of an angel's stare
> > > Wild things wait crouched in the valleys
> > >
> > > In the shade of a birch
> > > In the web of time
> > > Flapping like a flag
> > > On a lateral line
> > >
> > > I saw a man
> > > A lamped calligrapher
> > > Lit by the moon
> > >
> > > The man was still
> > > His eyeballs swiveled
> > > I nursed my nerve
> > >
> > > Atlantis howled
> > > The Great Stars ran amok
> > > A sounding loomed
> > > The tide of the world broke over
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>
>

On a related note, here's a former student and old friend of mine,
Bart Mallio, reading excerpts from his own poetry:

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=hTJNLRukiZA&...feature=related

Bart's an interesting and all-around good guy who's had an
interesting life as well-
Studied privately with Anthony Braxton ,
quit big-time computer job tospend several years in an abbey
preparing for a life as a trappist monk
Left.got married-- -
I like these poems.
verbrose, yes..but a good vocabulary is not always a thing!
Check, "The rain and John Cage"
-Or/"On being a bassist"

--- In tuning@yahoogroups.com, Daniel Forro <dan.for@...> wrote:
>
> Hi, Dan,
>
> I was kidding about rhythm, who said there must be one pattern in
> whole poem? Of course not necessary, those times are away. I
admire
> your imagination, and freedom of your verses and metaphors...
Yeah,
> who can do it, does it like you, and we other wannabe poets must
rely
> on fixed forms, and not create a real poems, just try mechanical
toys
> like haiku where mastership is so near to pure manneurism and
> jogglery... Which has also its own problems, as it's difficult if
not
> impossible in other languages than Japanese with its syllabic
> structure. That's the reason I usually write it in Japanese, and
> afterwards do just translations into English and Czech trying to
keep
> sense and rhythm.
> Real haiku has very strict rules, not only 5-7-5, but also limited
> themes (usually only seasons, nature beauty...), and should have
some
> surprising last line... Pretty difficult, it's like a mathematical
> formula, or chess game, or Bach's harmonic counterpoint where
> horizontal and vertical lines are synchronized.
>
> So I doubt I could win one year the Emperor's competition, will be
> invited to the Palace and meet Him... But it's interesting that
> effort to fill the exact form with some content, all this on a
very
> small space. I feel a lot common with classical music forms, they
> were also fixed and therefore limited (but not sooooo much like
haiku
> which must use words of course, music is more free). The older I
am,
> the more I like this zen-like minimalistic approach, so I invented
> few years ago a compositional technique using only few note cells
as
> a base of composition (what a coincidence with haiku!), and also
> returned to my eternal love - writing chromatic fugues which often
> combine 12tone atonal melodic technique with tonal harmony.
>
> And my New Year ringing our temple's bell is year by year better,
> too... There's no training possible, so I can learn only from one
> beat a year. Maybe after another 50 beats I can say: Hm, but this
> year the sound was really good... This I call pure zen. Maximal
> concentration in the shortest time. Best content in fixed form of
> some energy and vector... And feeling like whole cosmos waits that
> sound. Every year I'm looking forward to this moment, and believe
me,
> there's not much Japanese friends who understand fully what I'm
> talking about.
>
> Daniel Forro
>
>
> On 19 Nov 2008, at 12:42 AM, daniel_anthony_stearns wrote:
>
> > thanks for the comments and the haiku daniel.
> > With the poem I posted I was very much aware of the opening rhythm
> > and the subsequent lack thereof...and at first it felt awkward
given
> > my expectations and whatnot, but after a bit I was think that it
> > worked especially via-a-vis what I hoped to "say".
> > Lyric meter is a funny thing given a mentally fixed context where
you
> > expect such and such... and I can't begin to think how many
talented
> > lyricist sometimes fall into a hole of their own expectations in
this
> > regard------->being Czech as you are, there I'd cite the famous
folk
> > musician Nohavica (or perhaps even his big influence, Karel Kryl)
> > whom I quite like, nohavica that is (liked rok Dabla too, but
thought
> > Karel Plihal, and especially Killing Joke's Jaz Coleman, kind of
> > stole the show), but who writes so many songs that occasionally
> > the "poetry" of it suffers from its own expectations to rhyme and
> > meter that it can actually sometimes read better given a direct
(and
> > perhaps even broken) English translation!!! These are the things
I'm
> > interested in.....these odd moments where things obviously work,
if
> > perhaps shockingly, less formally so.
> > anyway, "winter walks in" will hopefully be a companion piece
to "day
> > walks in" one day/:
> > Take care, daniel stearns
> >
> > --- In tuning@yahoogroups.com, Daniel Forro <dan.for@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Beautiful, not bad, but too much words to me, and slightly out
of
> > > rhythm :-)
> > >
> > > What about this one:
> > >
> > > Ibukiyama
> > > with whitecap whispers in west
> > > "Woe, winter walks in"
> > >
> > > Daniel Forró
> > >
> > > On 16 Nov 2008, at 12:08 PM, daniel_anthony_stearns wrote:
> > >
> > > > I've always been a great magnet for the bleary skies, bare
trees
> > and
> > > > hard to pinpoint autumnal, metaphysical yearnings of this
time of
> > > > year here in this part of the world, New England.
> > > > And while i often try to stick some music at that thing, every
> > once
> > > > and a while i try to express something of it in words.
> > > > with that in mind, here's a poem-in-progress i've been trying
to
> > > > shape out of these things lately--btw, the music of the same
> > title is
> > > > also now up at my NNM profile page, should anyone be
interested:
> > > >
> > > > http://netnewmusic.ning.com/profile/danstearns
> > > >
> > > > Silvered Alar Rise!
> > > >
> > > > In the nameless motions of air
> > > > By the riven troughs of an angel's stare
> > > > Wild things wait crouched in the valleys
> > > >
> > > > In the shade of a birch
> > > > In the web of time
> > > > Flapping like a flag
> > > > On a lateral line
> > > >
> > > > I saw a man
> > > > A lamped calligrapher
> > > > Lit by the moon
> > > >
> > > > The man was still
> > > > His eyeballs swiveled
> > > > I nursed my nerve
> > > >
> > > > Atlantis howled
> > > > The Great Stars ran amok
> > > > A sounding loomed
> > > > The tide of the world broke over
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
>

Thank you all (Dan & Dan, et. al.) so much for the breath of fresh
air this morning! as edited below... evolving internet typography
included (jack)

> quit big-time computer job tospend several years in an abbey
preparing for a life as a trappist monk Left.got married--
> I like these poems. verbrose, yes..but a good vocabulary is not
always a thing! Check, "The rain and John Cage" - Or/"On being a
bassist"

> > I was kidding about rhythm, who said there must be one pattern in
whole poem? Of course not necessary, those times are away. I admire
your imagination, and freedom of your verses and metaphors...

> > it's difficult if not
> > impossible in other languages than Japanese with its syllabic
> > structure. That's the reason I usually write it in Japanese, and
> > afterwards do just translations into English and Czech

!!!

trying to keep sense and rhythm...

> > Real haiku has very strict rules, not only 5-7-5, but also
limited themes (usually only seasons, nature beauty...), and should
have some surprising last line... Pretty difficult, it's like a
mathematical formula, or chess game, or Bach's harmonic counterpoint
where horizontal and vertical lines are synchronized.
> >
> > So I doubt I could win one year the Emperor's competition, will
be invited to the Palace and meet Him... But it's interesting that
effort to fill the exact form with some content, all this on a very
small space.
...
>> The older I am, the more I like this zen-like minimalistic
approach, so I invented few years ago a compositional technique using
only few note cells as a base of composition (what a coincidence with
haiku!), and also returned to my eternal love - writing chromatic
fugues which often combine 12tone atonal melodic technique with tonal
harmony.
> >
> > And my New Year ringing our temple's bell is year by year better,
too... There's no training possible, so I can learn only from one
beat a year. Maybe after another 50 beats I can say: Hm, but this
year the sound was really good... This I call pure zen. Maximal
concentration in the shortest time. Best content in fixed form of
some energy and vector... And feeling like whole cosmos waits that
sound. Every year I'm looking forward to this moment, and believe me,
there's not much Japanese friends who understand fully what I'm
talking about.
> >
> > Daniel Forro

> > > Lyric meter is a funny thing given a mentally fixed context
where you expect such and such... and I can't begin to think how many
talented lyricist sometimes fall into a hole of their own
expectations in this ...

These are the things I'm interested in.....these odd moments where
things obviously work...
> > > Take care, daniel stearns

> > > > Ibukiyama
> > > > with whitecap whispers in west
> > > > "Woe, winter walks in"
> > > >
> > > > Daniel Forró
> > > >

> > > > > Silvered Alar Rise!
> > > > >
> > > > > In the nameless motions of air
> > > > > By the riven troughs of an angel's stare
> > > > > Wild things wait crouched in the valleys
> > > > >
> > > > > In the shade of a birch
> > > > > In the web of time
> > > > > Flapping like a flag
> > > > > On a lateral line
> > > > >
> > > > > I saw a man
> > > > > A lamped calligrapher
> > > > > Lit by the moon
> > > > >
> > > > > The man was still
> > > > > His eyeballs swiveled
> > > > > I nursed my nerve
> > > > >
> > > > > Atlantis howled
> > > > > The Great Stars ran amok
> > > > > A sounding loomed
> > > > > The tide of the world broke over
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>

I'm confused if it is D Farro or Jack who wrote this, but I'm quoting this little snippet for basic agreement or affinity.

I haven't written a chromatic fugue in quite some time, but, talk about eternal love...yup.

On Nov 21, 2008, at 1:36 PM, Jack wrote:

> (what a coincidence with
> haiku!), and also returned to my eternal love - writing chromatic
> fugues which often combine 12tone atonal melodic technique with tonal
> harmony.

--- In tuning@yahoogroups.com, caleb morgan <calebmrgn@...> wrote:
> I'm confused if it is D Farro or Jack who wrote this...

No, twasn't me, it was one of the Daniels. - jack

>, but I'm quoting this little snippet for basic agreement or
> affinity.
>
>> I haven't written a chromatic fugue in quite some time, but, talk
>> about eternal love...yup.

> On Nov 21, 2008, at 1:36 PM, Jack wrote:
> > (what a coincidence with
> > haiku!), and also returned to my eternal love - writing chromatic
> > fugues which often combine 12tone atonal melodic technique with
> > tonal harmony.