Yo ho-ho

To add to what Jeff Scott said, Jacob, here's what you need to do:

[1] Support microtonal composers and microtonal music by buying their
CDs and listening to their music. There's tons of superb microtonal
music out there, virtually none of it available on the web.

[2] Compose microtonal music. Doesn't matter what tools you use. If
you have even the feeblest scintilla of talent you will compose
excellent music no matter whether you use krummhorns, softsynths,
trained dogs taught to yodel in the 97th root of 3067, or digital
soundfonts made from hamsters duct-taped to the ceiling.

However history and experience show that most people drawn into the
orbit of microtonality don't want music. They want words. They want
numbers. You, for example. You keep asking what resources there are
for microtonality. Jeff Scott is a resource for microtonality. Buy his
2 CDs. I just sent off a money order to him -- how about you?

Ivor Darreg's microtonal CD on Frog Peak is another resource. Buy it.
Listen to it. William Sethares' two CDs are another resource. Buy 'em.
Listen to 'em. Kyle Gann's CD is another resource. Buy it. Listen to
it. Johnny Reinhard's "Between The Keys" microtonal CD is another
resource. Buy it. Listen to it. Larry Polansky's microtonal CDs are
another resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. Bill Wesley's microtonal CDs
produced with his handmade array instruments are another resource. Buy
'em. Listen to 'em. Jeff Stayton's 5 microtonal CDs are another
resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. Jonathan Glasier's microtonal CDs
are another resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. My 14 CDs of microtonal
music and the 27 CDs put out by the Southern California Microtonal
Group are another resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. Brink McGoogy's
microtonal CDs are another resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. William
Schottsteadt's microtonal CD "Dinosaur Music" is another resource. Buy
it. Listen to it. Jean Claude Risset's microtonal CDs are another
resource. Buy 'em listen to 'em. John Bischoff's microtonal CDs are
another resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. Jim Horton's microtonal CDs
are another resource. Buy 'em. Listen to 'em. The Wergo Computer Music
series contain a wealth of microtonal computer music. Buy 'em. Listen
to 'em. Skip LaPlante's microtonal CDs are another resource. Buy 'em.
Listen to 'em. Randy Winchester's microtonal CDs are another resource.
Buy 'em. Listen to 'em.

How many of these people have websites?

Zero. They're musicians, not web designers. Whenever you find a
website about microtonal music, that's a sure sign you're dealing
with somebody who doesn't compose any. In the real world, the people
who do, don't talk...and the people who talk, don't do anything.
Here's another startling fact: that's the way it's always been.
Explains lots of world history, eh?

How many of the above-named microtonal musicians have sprayed their
music out on the web for free? Try "none." Or as close to "none" as
makes no difference. They worked hard to produce this music. Why
should they give it away for nothing? Music seems to be the only
profession where people are expected to give away everything they
create in a Soviet-style collective. Why is that? I thought the
Soviet Union collapsed. Was I mistaken? I mean, how exactly does this
stuff work in the real world? Do you walk into a restaurant and
proclaim, "Hey, guys, gimme a free meal"? Do you walk into a
bookstore and tell the cashier, "Y'know, I'd like you to give me some
free books"? Do you walk into a lawyer's office and tell him "Gee,
I've got a case I'd like you to handle, how about doing it for free"?
Do you phone a plumber adn tell him "My pipes just burst, come on over
and fix 'em for free"?

If not, then why do you expect composers to give away their hard work
for free? Why should you expect to be able to surf the web and grab a
whole big bunch of free music? Does it occur to you that it might
cost money to host a website and let people download music? Does it
cross your mind that perhaps the 40% of the people in our society who
refuse to have anything to do with the net might be the creative
people who aren't real thrilled about giving away everything they're
created for free so freeloaders can make compilation CDs for their
girlfriends while watching pirated DiVX movie downloads using cracked
warez?

Of course you won't bother to buy Jeff Scott's CDs or any other CDs.
You want words and numbers. Not music. Go to the Alternative Wanking
List. They've got tons of words. Megatons of numbers. Moreover, there
are plenty of off-line resources from the masterminds who moderate the
Alternative Wanking List. For example, you can buy Carl Lumma's superb
CD of microtonal music here:

That's right, Carl Lumma hasn't produced a CD of microtonal music. But
he's spewed out millions of words. At least that's something. You can
peruse gems like Carls' memorable claim "I've never made a mistake."
How's that for wisdom? Puts Socrates to shame, don't it? Wait,
though -- you could also go here to find Paul Erlich's great CD of
microtonal music:

That's right, Paul Erlich hasn't released any CDs of microtonal music
either. But why let that stop you? Erlich has vomited out millions of
words. Go read 'em, then stick your head in a car-crushing machine and
chant "I am wise, I have attained the knowledge of the ages!" Or you
could always listen to that magnificent CD of microtonal music by
Jonathan Szanto available here:

Whoops, Jonathan Szanto hasn't released any CDs of microtonal music
either. But don't worry, he sprays out tens of thousands of words per
week, so all is not lost. Szanto has immeasurably contributed to
microtonality with posts like his recent comment "It sounds
like a root canal without anaesthetic." Yes, you can always count on
Joanthan Szanto to contribute to microtonality with invaluable
passages like that one. And don't forget that supreme genius of
microtonality Joe Monzo. Joe's excellent CD of microtonal music can be
found here:

Yes, Joe Monzo hasn't released any CDs of microtonal music either.
But, hey! What does *that* matter when he has so many spiffy words and
numbers and diagrams on his website? Everybody's got a website. And
the nuggets of knowledge you'll find there are just unspeakable, it's
enough to make wildebeests spontaneously combust. You can pore over
Joe Monzo's lattice diagrams while whacking roofing nails into your
hand and gargling with hydrofluoric acid. Then pause to congratulate
yourself on how wonderful it is, and how much these activities have
enhanced your life.

And last but far from least, there's Gene Ward Smith -- he has made
vast contributions to microtonailty, including this memorable recent
post just a few days back on the MetaMusic forum (a group devoted to
discussing the Alternative Tuning List):

>Message 6895 of 6940 | Previous | Next [ Up Thread ] Message
Index

>From: "Gene Ward Smith" <gwsmith@s...>
>Date: Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:56 am
>Subject: Tuning community?

>Do we have one? Lately it seems to me I see more "sharing" of insults
>and hurt feelings than of insights and music. I'm finishing up a new
>piece, and wondering if there is any point to this. Will it make
>anyone the least bit happier? Will the ideas involved wither and die?
>Are we talking to each other, or simply shouting "fuck you!" as our
>separate vehicles whizz by each other in the dark?

Just makes you want to jump up and compose microtnal music, doesn't
it? And not only that -- Gene has actually released CDs of music.
Alas, not microtonal. They sound like Beethoven on a bad day played on
a piano that hasn't been tuned since the Nixon administration. 12
pitches in the octave only. But why worry about that? Gene has
spewed out a veritable orgy of numbers and diagrams, and best of all,
jargon. Why, Gene has jargon that will strip paint from your walls.
It'll make you lick doorknobs. You'll wind up chewing garden hoses
after reading Gene's jargon at www.xenharmony.org. Of course, if you
want some actual evidence that any of Gene's jargon has any
objectively verifiable connection with observed reality...welllllll,
you're just trying to destroy everything this great mastermind has
created. Shame on you. Gene Ward Smith stands right up there with Uri
Geller and L. Ron Hubbard, a great great mind. Spiffy dresser too.

When dealing with googlebabies like Jacob Barton, we have to realize
it's their world and we just live in it. The net is the only valid
source of knowledge. Makes sense. It's the digital age. Books are
obsolete. The www is the collective brain of mankind! After all,
whatever some pimple-faced 14-year-old types into the internet while
searching for new blood spatter patterns for his Duke Nuke 'Em game
must be the source of all wisdom, right?

What possible purpose could libraries serve? We live in the online
era. Hallelujah! It's a brand new hyperlinked streaming downloadable
world, full of incredible new resources like the invaluable forty laws
of Sympathetic Vibratory Physics at
http://www.svpvril.com/fortylaw.html

and the fascinating details about the harmonic world-grid which draws
all those UFOs into close contact at
http://www.worldhistoryhub.com/The_Energy_Grid_0932813445.html

What sublime insight we gain by surfing the net and discovering new
breathtaking revelations about the quantum nature of Bigfoot
http://www.unknowncountry.com/news/?id=3178

and the startling truth that Satan actually pilots those pesky saucers
hovering over the Bermuda Triangle:
http://www.pharo.com/ufos/satanic_hypothesis/artic
les/ufss_00a_satanic.asp

After all, can you find any of this information in your local
university library?

Gosh. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Best of all, the net doesn't suffer from any of that nasty icky
elitism we find in those hidebound scholarly journals. Those stuffy
old fogeys actually demand hard evidence for a claim before they let
it into print. The internet offers a vastly superior shortcut to
knowledge. Whatever anyone says is true...just because they say it.
Isn't that marvellous? All the hard work gets taken out of education
-- just surf the net, and believe whatever you read, and, why, gosh,
the next thing you know, you'll have attained an apex of wisdom
scarcely equalled since those Heavens Gate cult members castrated
themselves and gobbled a bunch of barbiturate-laced oatmeal.

On the other hand, if you've backslid out of the firm conviction that
the internet contains valid information, you might be ready for a
change. Perhaps you're no longer quite so cocksure that the internet
is THE place to go to get all those wonderful different "perspectives"
on various subjects -- like, oh, say, the perspective that 2 + 2 = 3,
or the alternative and quite recherche perspective that 2 + 2 = 7, or
the even more daring and provocative perspective that 2 + 2 = -5. Then
you might find yourself desirous of *genuine* words of wisdom. In
that case, try these by Jeff Scott:

"Many have compared the experience of listening [to microtnal music]
to that of being in another world. Even so, it has not disturbed the
very conservative persons, yet it has blown the minds of the extremely
avant-garde. Beautiful, bizarre, elegant, weird, energizing and
relaxing are all words that have been used to describe this music.

"This album should not be possible either technically or in terms of
traditional theories and beliefs about the nature of music and
hearing: Six of the ten pieces use nonoctave tunings. For persons
curious about what is possible with nonoctave tunings, this will
certainly be of special interest."

But you don't want facts, Jacob. You don't want logic. You don't want
critical thinking. You don't want to listen to CDs of microtonal
music. You just want to surf the net.

"The only real problem is that anyone who has no culture, other than
this global monoculture, is completely screwed. Anyone who grows up
watching TV, never sees any religion or philosophy, is raised in an
atmosphere of moral relativism, learns about civics from watching
bimbo eruptions on network TV news, and attends a university where
postmodernists vie to outdo each other in demolishing traditional
notions of truth and quality, is going to come out into the world as
one pretty feckless human being." [Stephenson, Neal, "In the Beginning
Was the Command Line, 2001]

--- In crazy_music@yahoogroups.com, "xenharmonic" <xed@e...> wrote:
> To add to what Jeff Scott said, Jacob, here's what you need to do:

>
> [1] Support microtonal composers and microtonal music by buying their
> CDs and listening to their music. There's tons of superb microtonal
> music out there, virtually none of it available on the web.

There's a lot of microtonal music out there. Some of it is available
for free on the web. This does not mean it should be spat upon by the
pompous and arrogant merely because of that.

> How many of these people have websites?
>
> Zero. They're musicians, not web designers. Whenever you find a
> website about microtonal music, that's a sure sign you're dealing
> with somebody who doesn't compose any.

What arrogant, ignorant crap.

In the real world, the people
> who do, don't talk...and the people who talk, don't do anything.

Ignorant crap.

> How many of the above-named microtonal musicians have sprayed their
> music out on the web for free? Try "none."

And this makes it better?

Does it occur to you that it might
> cost money to host a website and let people download music?

Does it occur to you that the amount of money involved is small potatoes?

> Alternative Wanking List. For example, you can buy Carl Lumma's superb
> CD of microtonal music here:
>
> That's right, Carl Lumma hasn't produced a CD of microtonal music. But
> he's spewed out millions of words.

At least that means he has done something.

At least that's something. You can
> peruse gems like Carls' memorable claim "I've never made a mistake."
> How's that for wisdom? Puts Socrates to shame, don't it? Wait,
> though -- you could also go here to find Paul Erlich's great CD of
> microtonal music:
>
> That's right, Paul Erlich hasn't released any CDs of microtonal music
> either.

He's released a CD. I have a copy.

But why let that stop you? Erlich has vomited out millions of
> words. Go read 'em, then stick your head in a car-crushing machine and
> chant "I am wise, I have attained the knowledge of the ages!" Or you
> could always listen to that magnificent CD of microtonal music by
> Jonathan Szanto available here:
>
> Whoops, Jonathan Szanto hasn't released any CDs of microtonal music
> either.

Gee, and I thought we were supposed to support "real musicians". Jon
doesn't count?

> Yes, Joe Monzo hasn't released any CDs of microtonal music either.

Paul, Jon and Joe have all composed microtonal music. What, exactly,
is your claim to fame?

> And last but far from least, there's Gene Ward Smith -- he has made
> vast contributions to microtonailty, including this memorable recent
> post just a few days back on the MetaMusic forum (a group devoted to
> discussing the Alternative Tuning List):

Gene Ward Smith is also a better composer than you will ever be, in
his obviously far from humble opinion. That you are a microtonal hack
does not make you special.

> Just makes you want to jump up and compose microtnal music, doesn't
> it? And not only that -- Gene has actually released CDs of music.
> Alas, not microtonal.

*Everything* I write is microtonal, you baboon.

They sound like Beethoven on a bad day played on
> a piano that hasn't been tuned since the Nixon administration. 12
> pitches in the octave only.

What an imbecile.