Yahoo Tuning Groups Ultimate Backup metatuning [Fwd: Fwd: george carlin]

Kraig Grady wrote:
>
> > > 1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
> > > little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE
> > >
> > > 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a
>peeing
> > > section in a swimming pool?
> > >
> > > 3. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and
> > > the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that
>make
> the
> > > Tennessee Titans?
> > >
> > > 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea. . Does that mean that
> > > one enjoys it?
> > >
> > > 5. There are three religious truths:
> > > A. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
> > > B. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
> > > Christian faith.
> > > C. Baptists do not recognize each Other in the liquor store or at
> > > Hooters
> > >
> > > 6. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,

> > > does he become disoriented?
> > >
> > > 7. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
> > > Holland called Holes?
> > >
> > > 8. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
> > >
> > > 9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
> > >
> > > 10. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
> > >
> > > 11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
> > >
> > > 12. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put
> > > your two cents in. . . What happens to the other penny?
> > >
> > > 13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
> > >
> > > 14. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just
>stale
> > > bread to begin with?
> > >
> > > 15. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
> > >
> > > 16. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
>person
> > > who drives a racecar not called a racist?
> > >
> > > 17. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
> > >
> > > 18. Why do overtook and oversee mean opposite things?
> > >
> > > 19. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
> > >
> > > 20. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
> > > language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
> > >
> > > 21. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
> > > follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
>cowboys
> > > deranged,
> > > models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed.
> > >
> > > 22. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge. Would they call it Fed UP?
> > >
> > > 23. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
> > >
> > > 24. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
>men?
> > >
> > > 25. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
>lot
> > > more as they get older then it dawned on me. . They're cramming for
> > > their final exam.
> > >
> > > 26. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
> > > spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use.
>Toothpicks?
> > >
> > > 27. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
>What
> > > are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
> > > pictures
> > > on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
> deliver
> > > the mail?
> > >
> > > 28. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly
> > > are the others here for?
> > >
> > > 29. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
> > >
> > > 30. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

> > >
> > > 31. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
> > > zigzag?
> > >
> > > 32. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next
>door
> > > went nuts.
> > >
> > > 33. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
> > >
> > > 34. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
> > >
>
>
>

> -- Kraig Grady
> North American Embassy of Anaphoria island
> http://www.anaphoria.com
>
> The Wandering Medicine Show
> Wed. 8-9 KXLU 88.9 fm
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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-- Kraig Grady
North American Embassy of Anaphoria island
http://www.anaphoria.com

The Wandering Medicine Show
Wed. 8-9 KXLU 88.9 fm

[Fwd: Fwd: george carlin]

🔗Kraig Grady <kraiggrady@...>

🔗Kraig Grady <kraiggrady@...>

🔗paulerlich <paul@...>