George Peppr's post at the Delians...

Carl, I am a member of the Delian Society Yahoo! Group, a forum for
tonal music enthusiasts. George Pepper is a former member bounced from
the list for the following post. (Rick informs me that reading this post
required joining the list.)

George considers himself the ultimate authority on all matters musical,
and is contemptuous of alternate tuning buffs. He resorts to highly
personal invective when someone doesn't acknowledge the "truthiness" of
his opinions. Here is his last post in its entirety:

Jon,

Not only is your ass showing, but your Freudian slip as well.
Now, I've only attended the Guitar Institute, where I studied with dolts
like Herb Ellis and Pat Martino; and Berklee College of Music, where I
earned a lowly Professional Music degree; my experience with rock bands
only lead to a handful of appearances on MTV (Which I'm sure would be
beneath your dignity); then, I programmed most of the factory sound
effect presets for New England Digital's Synclavier Digital Music System
(Where I became intimately acquainted with the overtone series in a way
you'll never understand, and had my name enshrined in their user manual,
as well as my sounds used in everything from Star Trek: TNG to Firefly);
and of course, I later earned a worthless master's degree from a little
school in Texas nobody has ever heard of, after which I recorded a CD of
twenty-seven classical pieces I wrote all by my lonesome, performing
them as well. Now, I was going to try to keep this response to a single
sentence, but I believe that one has run on long enough. Nowadays I
simply have a management contract and endorsements with a guitar
manufacturer, a guitar electronics manufacturer, and a software company.
I'm sure your list of endorsements makes mine pale into insignificance
by comparison, and I'm sure you make a lot more money performing than I
do. In fact, I'm sure you are enjoying a stellar career... just not in
music.
I'm sorry that I understand the overtone series better than you do. I
know you wish you were the greatest interpreter of the series'
implications in all of music history, but you aren't. In fact, Jon, you
aren't worthy to eat the peanuts out of my poop; by any measure of a
musician, by any measure of a man, by any measure of a human being, by
any measure of anything - and my poop would be brain-food for you.
Judging from the off-list interactions I have with other Delians, I'm
far from alone in understanding this truism, and I'm far from alone in
wishing that you would just take your insignificant musical flailings,
dry up with them, and blow the hell away.
I've tried humoring you, but you are obviously determined to remain
willfully ignorant, so I can't help you. One thing I have become over
the years is butthole-intolerant, Jon, and you are a gaping maw of a
bleating, butthole: You yell out of your butt at the top of your lungs,
and I just have no time for your pre-pubescent bullcrap anymore. If I
were the moderator of this group, your sub-basement IQ'd rear-end would
have been tossed out of here long ago, but I'm not. So, being the
butthole-intolerant, yet magnanimous person that I am, I'm going to give
you sole ass-hat stewardship of the Delian group. I'm tired of tossing
my pearls before swine like you, but perhaps this is the only place
where you will be tolerated. It's yours.
Read commandments nine and ten sometime, Jon. I've encountered
covetous, jealous piles of excrement like you before (Reading the
letters of Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven leads me to believe this
experience is near-universal among musicians with talent), and I'm sure
I'll have the pleasure again.
You'll die knowing you are less than nothing next to me, Jon, and this
is as it should be.
Next time you want a laugh, Jon, take a long look in a mirror. That
ought to do it.
Sorry Delians, but every now and then in life one has to rip the head
off of a butthole and poop down his throat.
You should have read the first draft. LOL!
Adios muchachos. Yo Finito.
Jorge Jalapeno.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jon,
This has to be the most over the top exit-note from a mailing list
ever written. Thanks for sharing. Until now, the top post was written
by a guy who I knew a while ago, who shared the poisoned pen note I
append below for your commiseration. I have long forgotten what
started it, but it doesn't come close to matching the great Jorge
Jalapeno's efforts. I saved it for just this occasion. Feel free to
send it on to his majesty.

Prent Rodgers

--- In MakeMicroMusic@yahoogroups.com, "J.Smith" <jsmith9624@...> wrote:
George Pepper is a former member bounced from
> the list for the following post. So, being the
> butthole-intolerant, yet magnanimous person that I am, I'm going to give
> you sole ass-hat stewardship of the Delian group. I'm tired of tossing
> my pearls before swine like you, but perhaps this is the only place
> where you will be tolerated.
> Adios muchachos. Yo Finito.
> Jorge Jalapeno.

-------------------------------------------------------------
The second best poisoned pen letter ever written:

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we
say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with
instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go
away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little
worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a
cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench,
a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared
richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth
into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody,
abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then
killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same
species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at
the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut.
Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are
a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive
its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to
fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink
shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing
nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an
ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with
you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in
a land that reality forgot.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a
disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of
wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You
are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow
wherever you go.

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off,
pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You
clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker.
You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole
ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead
cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb.
You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are
degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you
exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard
stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes
way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of
stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed
on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten
so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing
hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second
than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing
has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid.
Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang
of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by
anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.

Please note that my copy of insults.txt is a copy of one circulating
on the internet for years. I didn't write it.

Prent

--- In MakeMicroMusic@yahoogroups.com, "Prent Rodgers"
<prentrodgers@...> wrote:
>
> Jon,
> This has to be the most over the top exit-note from a mailing list
Feel free to
> send it on to his majesty.
>
> Prent Rodgers

Hmmm. He misspelled "choke".

And now back to our regularly scheduled program of microtonally related postings?

:-)
Rick

there is a poet in L.A. that writes such things as poems. And brings to light that such things can be creative and even entertaining. It is extremely subversive in that it keeps the person who it is directed to keep reading.
One would hope they might be able to channel this into more benevolent forms.
Yet has always had it moments in this area. Baudelaire or De Sade off the top of my head.
Artaud used it in a very interest way of writing a letter to a publisher who rejected some of his work, an exchange follows .
starting with an apology it slowly turns slowly upon the publisher, who he completely destroys by the end.

Such things can be also done musically and some younger composers i have seen do so. possibly Zappa might go there at times.

Prent Rodgers wrote:
> Jon,
> This has to be the most over the top exit-note from a mailing list
> ever written. Thanks for sharing. Until now, the top post was written
> by a guy who I knew a while ago, who shared the poisoned pen note I
> append below for your commiseration. I have long forgotten what
> started it, but it doesn't come close to matching the great Jorge
> Jalapeno's efforts. I saved it for just this occasion. Feel free to
> send it on to his majesty.
>
> Prent Rodgers
>
> --- In MakeMicroMusic@yahoogroups.com, "J.Smith" <jsmith9624@...> wrote:
> George Pepper is a former member bounced from
> >> the list for the following post. So, being the
>> butthole-intolerant, yet magnanimous person that I am, I'm going to give
>> you sole ass-hat stewardship of the Delian group. I'm tired of tossing
>> my pearls before swine like you, but perhaps this is the only place
>> where you will be tolerated. >> Adios muchachos. Yo Finito.
>> Jorge Jalapeno.
>> >
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> The second best poisoned pen letter ever written:
>
> You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we
> say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with
> instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go
> away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.
>
> You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little
> worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a
> cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench,
> a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
>
> You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared
> richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth
> into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody,
> abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then
> killed themselfs in recognition of what they had done.
>
> I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same
> species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at
> the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut.
> Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are
> a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
>
> You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive
> its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to
> fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink
> shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing
> nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
>
> You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid,
> nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an
> ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with
> you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in
> a land that reality forgot.
>
> You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
> obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
> emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a
> disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
>
> On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are
> deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of
> wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You
> are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow
> wherever you go.
>
> You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off,
> pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You
> clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. > You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole
> ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead
> cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb.
> You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
>
> You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are
> degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you
> exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
>
> I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard
> stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes
> way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of
> stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed
> on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten
> so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing
> hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second
> than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing
> has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid.
> Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang
> of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by
> anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
> -- Kraig Grady
North American Embassy of Anaphoria Island <http://anaphoria.com/index.html>
The Wandering Medicine Show
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